Old Adult Nursery Rhymes & Valentines

Hickory, dickory, dock,
This bitch was sucking my cock
The clock struck two, I dumped my goo,
And dropped her at the end of the block.

Mary had a little lamb,
She kept in the backyard.
When she took her panties off,
His wooly dick got hard

Old mother hubbard,
Went to the cupboard,
To get her old dog a bone.
When she bent over,
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.

Peter, peter, pumpkin eater,
Had a wife, Liked to beat her,
Smacked her twice around the head,
Fucked her ass, Then went to bed.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
Each with a dollar and a quarter
Jill came down with two dollars fifty, The dirty whore.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary, Trim that pussy, Its too damn hairy.

Little Miss Muffet,
Sat on a tuffet,
eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider,
and sat down beside her,
And said, hey,
whats in the bowl bitch?

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a big fall,
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
Couldnt put that fat motherfucker back together again.

Valentines 🙂


Roses make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You’re a dirty bitch
And you love it up the shitter

Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over, love
You’re about to get fisted.

Roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I’ve just come
Pass me a hanky

Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cos here comes my willy

Roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And show us your tits

Roses are red
but I like carnations
you’re so crap in bed
that I fucked your alsatian

Roses are red
Violets are finer
Chickens are fowl
just like your Vagina

Roses are red
it’s elementary
Let’s ring up a friend
and try double entry

Roses are shit
Violets are crap
Show me yer clit
And I’ll cum in yer lap

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